becomingdanni asked: Now, I know this is supposed to be classified, but what are the secret powers a high level asexual like yourself has gained from membership?
Ok, keep this like super top secret, but here we go:
1. I can generate energy with my hands, that I can use like laser blasts, and it’s super great for quickly making grilled cheese sandwiches
2. I can teleport, but only to another place inhabited by an asexual
3. If I am within range of a pansexual, I steal half of their sexuality, rendering us both just hella gay
4. I can hold my breath for a really long time
5. I can use the combined whining of a room full of straight people to power an entire city for 2 days
6. I can harness myself as a source of dark matter and fold within my own separate pocket dimension to create a black hole
keep in mind that this is all standard level 8 stuff, level 9 is when things get REALLY crazy
- Archduke Franz Ferdinand: I came here to have a good time and I honestly am feeling so attacked right now
I was hired by a religious group to do an illustration for their printed brochure. They loved it, and I sent them an invoice. Two months later I hadn’t been paid.
I called them, and their manager said they had prayed to God about my invoice, and He told them to use the money for their cause instead.
I waited a few minutes and called him back. I told him that I had prayed to God about it, and He said they should pay me.
They sent me a check.
can a ghost and a zombie come from the same person
Is this a comic? This should be a comic.
"no stupid, oh my god. no just… just turn… fuck. don’t wander over there, you’re gonna fall down the… aaand there he goes………….. moron.”
The person I blogged this from deserves to have a great day