asker

becomingdanni asked: Now, I know this is supposed to be classified, but what are the secret powers a high level asexual like yourself has gained from membership?

highfunctioningdarklordofall:

Ok, keep this like super top secret, but here we go:

1. I can generate energy with my hands, that I can use like laser blasts, and it’s super great for quickly making grilled cheese sandwiches

2. I can teleport, but only to another place inhabited by an asexual

3. If I am within range of a pansexual, I steal half of their sexuality, rendering us both just hella gay

4. I can hold my breath for a really long time

5. I can use the combined whining of a room full of straight people to power an entire city for 2 days

6. I can harness myself as a source of dark matter and fold within my own separate pocket dimension to create a black hole

keep in mind that this is all standard level 8 stuff, level 9 is when things get REALLY crazy

  • Archduke Franz Ferdinand: I came here to have a good time and I honestly am feeling so attacked right now
can-u-not-my-wayward-son:

can-u-not-my-wayward-son:

why is there a huge jug of oregano??? who the fuck puts oregano in brownies?????

i have been informed that it is not oregano but is in fact marijuana

can-u-not-my-wayward-son:

can-u-not-my-wayward-son:

why is there a huge jug of oregano??? who the fuck puts oregano in brownies?????

i have been informed that it is not oregano but is in fact marijuana

(via kyle-and-error)

maddddddds:

korra:

awkward how reassuring i find this

well ya duh society shames speech patterns associated with young women

maddddddds:

korra:

awkward how reassuring i find this

well ya duh society shames speech patterns associated with young women

(via howabootnaw)

clientsfromhell:

I was hired by a religious group to do an illustration for their printed brochure.  They loved it, and I sent them an invoice. Two months later I hadn’t been paid. 

I called them, and their manager said they had prayed to God about my invoice, and He told them to use the money for their cause instead.

I waited a few minutes and called him back. I told him that I had prayed to God about it, and He said they should pay me. 

They sent me a check.

happilyimperfect:

So, this happened during the USA vs Germany game last Thursday, and this is what I have to say…
Dear USA, 
you have 5 dual national German-Americans on your team. Remember that when you insult half their identity. 
using the hashtag ‘#backtobackworldwarchamps’ does not make you funny. It may make you feel better, but it also makes you look incredible stupid.
Germans are aware of their past. They are constantly battling with the actions of their ancestors. Many have little to no “Nationalstolz” (national pride) because they have seen where blind trust and loyalty can lead, and therefore may be proud of individual moments or specific things like their Fußball team, but not necessarily of “Germany” as a whole. (For a concrete example: In America, I see US flags everywhere- on front porches, in front of many business buildings, and schools, and on the lapels of politicians– it’s an everyday thing. The only German flags I would see during my day in Germany are at the Parliament building and now as a few fans stumble home after watching a Fußball game.)
Not all Germans living during WW2 were Nazis, just like not all US citizens supported the invasion of Iraq. 
Please stop making such stupid comments. Support your team, yes, and wave your flag and go ahead and hate on the German team itself, but believe me- Germans hate on themselves enough without you making tasteless comments about their past. 
Thanks. Feel free to send me an ask if you want to talk about it– whether or not you agree, I’d love to hear your thoughts. 

happilyimperfect:

So, this happened during the USA vs Germany game last Thursday, and this is what I have to say…

Dear USA, 

  • you have 5 dual national German-Americans on your team. Remember that when you insult half their identity. 
  • using the hashtag ‘#backtobackworldwarchamps’ does not make you funny. It may make you feel better, but it also makes you look incredible stupid.
  • Germans are aware of their past. They are constantly battling with the actions of their ancestors. Many have little to no “Nationalstolz” (national pride) because they have seen where blind trust and loyalty can lead, and therefore may be proud of individual moments or specific things like their Fußball team, but not necessarily of “Germany” as a whole. (For a concrete example: In America, I see US flags everywhere- on front porches, in front of many business buildings, and schools, and on the lapels of politicians– it’s an everyday thing. The only German flags I would see during my day in Germany are at the Parliament building and now as a few fans stumble home after watching a Fußball game.)
  • Not all Germans living during WW2 were Nazis, just like not all US citizens supported the invasion of Iraq. 
  • Please stop making such stupid comments. Support your team, yes, and wave your flag and go ahead and hate on the German team itself, but believe me- Germans hate on themselves enough without you making tasteless comments about their past. 

Thanks. Feel free to send me an ask if you want to talk about it– whether or not you agree, I’d love to hear your thoughts. 

(via howabootnaw)

micdotcom:

15 poewrful Jose Mujica quotes no other leader has the guts to say

"Modest yet bold, liberal and fun-loving."

Naming Uruguay the country of the year in 2013, the Economist may very well have described the rising nation’s head of state, President José “Pepe” Mujica.

Known for his unusual frankness, fiery oration and bold leadership to turn ideas into action, the 78-year-old leader possesses and practices the very characteristics that many world leaders fail to emulate. He has also garnered international acclaim for his progressive policies, down-to-earth personality and simple presentation, which has earned him a reputation as “the world’s poorest president.”

Read more | Follow micdotcom

(via howabootnaw)

lesbe-nerdy:

chanellecassidy:

saber-chan:

My parents aren’t home

You know what that means

*sits in the living room instead of sealing myself away in my room*

this is too accurate 

*parents close the door*, *emerges slowly from room like an easily startled deer*

(via kyle-and-error)




Orbiting Mnemosyne is a two-kilometer-long ship with the unmistakable profile of a Reaper. It is giving off power signatures in localized areas, but they are far weaker than a ship this size would indicate. The Reaper seems to maintain a mass effect field that has kept it from falling into the failed star, but massive holes have been blasted and melted into parts of the hull and remain unrepaired. The only logical conclusion is that the Reaper “died” or was at least reduced to minimal functioning a long time ago.

Orbiting Mnemosyne is a two-kilometer-long ship with the unmistakable profile of a Reaper. It is giving off power signatures in localized areas, but they are far weaker than a ship this size would indicate. The Reaper seems to maintain a mass effect field that has kept it from falling into the failed star, but massive holes have been blasted and melted into parts of the hull and remain unrepaired. The only logical conclusion is that the Reaper “died” or was at least reduced to minimal functioning a long time ago.

(via caitatonic)

fleshcircus:

revengeofthemudbutt:

carpe-diem-rah:

americas-liberty:

Oh, well that’s… yea. lol

That’s one way to get the message across I guess

They were talking about this on KUPD this morning. Brilliant.

dying

(via howabootnaw)

the-rogue-0f-light:

conquerorwurm:

seifukucat:

can a ghost and a zombie come from the same person

Is this a comic? This should be a comic.

"no stupid, oh my god. no just… just turn… fuck. don’t wander over there, you’re gonna fall down the… aaand there he goes………….. moron.”

(via howabootnaw)

typhonatemybaby:

mermaidandthedrunks:

darlingdormer:

darlingdormer:

sexuality: Natalie Dormer with a weapon

update:

may we forever be updating this post

send hlep

(via caitatonic)

The person I blogged this from deserves to have a great day

(via caitatonic)

caitatonic:

ouyangdan:

darthnepeta:

1geekygingergirl:

rpgprotip:

Dice shaming.

 DICE SHAMING. Can this please be the next viral meme? Cause it’s hilarious.

ELP

OH MY GOD DICE SHAMING I LOVE IT!


Dice shaming is cracking me up. I demand more dice shaming.

caitatonic:

ouyangdan:

darthnepeta:

1geekygingergirl:

rpgprotip:

Dice shaming.

DICE SHAMING. Can this please be the next viral meme? Cause it’s hilarious.

ELP

OH MY GOD DICE SHAMING I LOVE IT!

Dice shaming is cracking me up. I demand more dice shaming.